Reprodução
O ciclo do relacionamento abusivo é ardiloso e tem feito cada vez vítimas entre mulheres jovens e adolescentes. Os comportamentos masculinos de controle, isolamento e ciúmes excessivo são naturalizados e, como a manipulação é sutil, fica difícil de as garotas perceberem que estão em uma cilada.
Para ajudar as mulheres a identificarem o processo e criarem mecanismos de defesa, o Núcleo de Gênero do Ministério Público de São Paulo lançou a cartilha ‘Namoro Legal’. O material, disponível online, traz sete dicas que representam os espaços de dominação em um relacionamento.
“O objetivo é que as mulheres, principalmente as mais novas, identifiquem as situações. O primeiro passo é reconhecer a relação abusiva. Há estágios de um relacionamento abusivo em que ainda é possível impor limites”, explica a promotora Valéria Scarance, coordenadora do Núcleo de Gênero do MPSP.
Reprodução
Com uma linguagem jovem e atual, a cartilha trata da violência sem falar de violência, de vítima sem falar de vítima. Isso porque mulheres não se enxergam como vítimas, mesmo quando sofrem violências graves. Se é complicado elas admitirem a agressão quando há uma violência física ou ameaça grave, imagine quando essa violência é comportamental?
Entre as dicas, Valéria Scarance destaca a que auxilia as jovens a estabelecerem bases de segurança. Quando processo de dominação e submissão tem início, um dos estágios é o isolamento. “A estratégia de afastar a namorada da família e dos amigos é uma artimanha do abusador para evitar que a vítima perceba a manipulação. É importante que ela saiba quais são os espaços só dela”, explica. Valorize o seu espaço, o seu território físico e mental, o lugar onde você se sente segura e conectada com sua essência. Esse espaço compreende sua família, amigos, estudo, trabalho e lazer, seu modo de ser. E você não deve abrir mão desse espaço por ninguém! undefined
A promotora esclarece que nem todo dominador é feminicida, mas todo feminicida é dominador. “Não dá para arriscar. A cartilha traz informações para que a pessoa se fortaleça, saiba o que fazer. E ajuda a desmistificar algumas verdades, como a de que a mulher transforma o homem com seu amor, sua dedicação, se demonstrar sofrimento. Mas isso não acontece. Fera não vira príncipe”, alerta.
Na vivência do Ministério Público, Valéria relata que as mulheres jovens têm vivenciado relações violentas cada vez mais cedo e que evoluem para um feminicídio muito rapidamente. Como pouco se fala sobre os atos que antecedem uma situação fatal, várias vítimas acham que a violência física é algo distante. Esse fenômeno da negação acomete mulheres adultas também, mas as jovens têm mais dificuldade de impor limites. Para piorar, quem pratica essa violência perturbadora e silenciosa é alguém de quem a vítima gosta.
Não há amor capaz de mudar um padrão que está naturalizado dentro do garoto. Ele é o que é. Um alerta especial sobre aqueles boys esquentadinhos. Ofender, xingar, constranger, perseguir, dar um tapinha, puxar o cabelo, apertar o pescoço… Tudo isso é agressão! Se acontecer, procure ajuda!undefined
A cartilha traz questões práticas que mostram caminhos que podem levar à violência, gerando adesão em vez de aversão. “Normalmente, não conseguimos falar com mulheres adultas, pois além de negarem a violência, elas não têm esse interesse, não se identificam. Com a cartilha, estamos vendo as mães das adolescententes procurando informações para as filhas. Elas acabam se identificando e estão mudando de vida também”, conta a promotora.
A cartilha ‘Namoro Legal’ conta com a parceria da revista Capricho, da Microsoft e apoio da ONU Mulheres. As dicas completas estão no site do Ministério Público.
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